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Wine Talk: Festival Survival Guide

Wine festivals can be a wonderful way to sample and learn more about wine. I have compiled a list of some of the things people don’t think about but that can make their wine tasting a much more enjoyable experience.

Drinking on an empty stomach is a bad idea! Eat fatty, protein rich foods before a tasting in order to line the digestive system so as not to succumb to the effects of alcohol too quickly. But it is also important that you stay away from pungent foods that have scents and flavors that linger long after you ate them, like raw onion and garlic.
The best way to prevent a hangover is not to drink too much too quickly. Take small sips just enough to cover the tongue and still be able to breathe in and out over the wine. You are meant to be tasting not guzzling.

Hannibal

Remember to stay hydrated throughout the tasting event. Alcohol is a diuretic meaning it makes you urinate more often than you usually would. All those squats at the great white throne strip your body of precious H2O. So sip water between tasting or if you are a water-phobe like myself, sip other non-alcoholic beverages at regular intervals.
You may have heard it being said that alcohol is older than you so it deserves respect. There is no prize at the end of the evening for the person who has drunk the most so bear in mind that all the tasting happens in the mouth as there are no taste buds in the stomach. Don’t think of spitting as a waste of wine. The waste of wine is the regurgitated bespoke wine blend.

Tie long hair back, also don’t wear long earrings or necklaces that will dangle in your face when you lean forward towards the spittoon.

Charge your phone so you can take notes and pictures of the wines that you may want to remember later.
You will be standing most of the time so you will need some feel good footwear to tackle the hike around the exhibition hall. Leave the spikey heels for the club, maybe even embrace the takkie trend.

Wine 1

You will always be having a glass in one hand so you will need the other one to be free. A small handbag with a long strap as opposed to a big bag with short fussy handles will allow more freedom of movement.

Avoid wearing strong perfumes or cologne as it may affect the wine tasting pleasure of those in your ‘smell zone’.
Wine will spill so black is always the new black when it comes to wine tasting couture. Dark colored clothes are the best to hide red wine stains, because even if you are not drunk a red wine stain on a white shirt will make even the most sober of judges look like the biggest sdagwa.

You are constantly touching your lips during a wine tasting so it is best to use a lip stain or a nontransferable lipstick. A glass with lip prints on the rim looks tacky. I like to leave my lips bare and save the colored makeup for my eyes.

Wine 2

Tasting red wine stains the teeth and your first impulse is to brush your purple smile as soon as you can. Don’t! Tooth brushing will cause a chemical reaction that will strip the precious enamel off of the teeth and do great damage to your pearly whites, rather rinse your mouth with water. Only brush your teeth in the morning after the night before. Who has the energy to brush teeth after the hard work of wine tasting anyway? I have just given you a valid excuse to go to bed without brushing your teeth not to sleep with makeup.

A final glass of water or fruit juice for rehydration, taken with a milk thistle capsule will ensure that you wake up feeling as right as rain in the morning. No babalaas for real.

I trust that this information is helpful and you will attend your next wine tasting with a little bit more aplomb than you have in the past.

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Ziyanda Tutu

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